Happy Mother's Day

The day I found out I was pregnant was not a magical one.  I was not giddy with excitement; I didn't think it was going to be beautiful or amazing.  I nervously smoked nearly a pack of cigarettes (sad they were probably my last). My great friend kept me company as I anxiously awaited Mr. Husband's late night arrival from work to take 'The Test.'

As soon as Mr. Husband walked in the door, I marched straight to the bathroom, as he tried to hide his beaming smile, & soft chuckles of anticipation (very poorly, I might add).  

On the box it says to wait 3 minutes for results... 3 minutes in pregnancy test time is like 20 minutes.  Or so I'm told.  Iiii wouldn't happen to know because once I saturated said stick, set it down & turned back around (seriously micro-seconds later) the little blue cross was BEAMING at me.  I immediately sat down & took test #2.  There's 3 in there for a reason right?

I took 3 tests with-in 20 minutes (I had to wait a little while after test #2 because I was out of pee.)

I cried and cried and cried.  For 3 days I cried.  I was so scared.  I had no idea what I was doing.  How could I let this happpen? (it was very much my fault.)  I didn't know the first thing about raising a child, how to hold a baby,  I had never changed a diaper, 'What do you even DO with a baby?'  And my biggest fear ever... feeding it. I just knew I would forget to feed it.  Ask my beloved pups, I forget... a lot!

About a month after taking the tests and the clouds were slowly starting to clear, it was brought to my attention that my first Mother's Day would be on my birthday this year.  This was the first thing that made me think This is going to be okay, I can do this, because I was meant to do this.

And I was right, I can do this.  I can love this baby like no other & and show him some cool things along the way (name that movie). And I do Love this.  I Love being SBR's Momma.

I say to him all the time: "Can you beliefs I was scared of you?  You're not scary at all, you are AH-maysing."

Because he is.  He's my beautiful little mini-me, my little Buck-a-roo, my little pill.

I love you, SBR, with all my heart. 

I am honored to be your Momma.

Sometimes you get discouraged

Because I am so small

And always leave dirty marks

On furniture and walls.

But every day I'm growing,

I'll be grown up some day

And all those little dirty marks

Will all have gone away.

 

As I grow, I'll change a lot,

The years will fly right by.

You'll wonder how I grew so quick

When and where and why?

I may still be very small

But this I'd like to say,

I love you very, very BIG

 Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there. 

YOU Are Amazing.