Before Denaya

I have a good friend who constantly blames her daughter for everything.  We've been friends for about 3 years now & her daughter is 4 1/2 to date.

Ever since I've known her, there have been countless sentences that begin with Before Denaya and would be followed up with an array of things:  

Before Denaya, I wasn't always this tired.

Before Denaya, I liked bananas.

Before Denaya, My hair was shinier.

Before Denaya, I could remembered a lot more.

So on. and so on.

The pity I felt for poor Denaya, having to carry around the burden of her mother's pre-life.  

What it must be like for this little tiny girl to know, that if her mother could remember anything, she might remember life without her. 

To which my friend would only laugh & reply.... Someday... you just wait... you'll get it.

Whatevs.

Well folks, that day came.  I'm sure my friend has it marked in her calendar (I really think she does). 

There is much more to the before & after, than just the baby.

So here is my list of Before SBR:

Chocolate:  Before- I could take it or leave it.

                      Now- I want it all the time. 

Same goes for ice cream. 

Coffee:  Before- I could drink triple grande lattes and it  would not effect me.

               Now- I can barely drink a half caff with out getting all jittery and will not sleep if I have any caffeinated coffee after 5p.

Hair Loss:  I was slightly aware of this one, my stylist told me about it & I read about it.  Still, I was not quite prepared for the amounts! I have a ton of hair, so it doesn't matter as much, but DANG! 

Forgetfulness:  Before SBR- I was pretty forgetful, it comes from my Grandma, but eventually it would come back to me...

                            Now, I just let it go. 

Let's talk about Poo!  No, not the bear that loves Hunny.             

       Before- these conversations would put me to a near vomit, strip  my throat from dry heaving.

        Now- it's one of the first things I discuss with my husband when I get home from work. 

Body Shifts- really, I don't want to talk about it.

Before SBR-  I never knew anything about children.  Nothing. I wasn't really around any growing up. I babysat a little, but I was just 11-12 myself, (is that even legal??). 

You want me to hold your newborn?  No thank you. 

SBR's was the first diaper I changed.  Ever.

Even when I'm not holding a baby, as a new mom, when standing up, I sway, back and forth, back and forth in the rocking motion.  

I Love That.

Before SBR- I never knew how fast babies developed.  How smart they are.  I never understood when someone said you can watch them and see them taking in the world & you know they are learning and remembering every moment of it.  They do several 'firsts' in one day.  Now I do. 

When someone would say:  A baby is a Miracle.  I would think yeah, it's a human growing inside a human, that's super gross. The miracle is women keep doing it over & over.

Now-  I know, it is a true miracle.  I look down at my angel & still cannot wrap my head around the fact that he grew that little nose inside of me... those little chubby hands, complete with finger nails and that big beating heart. 

(a human in a human still does freak me out)

Before SBR- I never knew A mother's love. I have so much love in me for this little amazing boy.  It feels like it could be illegal. 

I guess, all I'm saying, my Friend, is... I do get it.